Getting Right VS Getting Liked: People follow the standard.

Everyone likes free endorphins and there is nothing like the adoration of those you lead. It makes you feel accomplished, valued, liked and important. The problem is too many leaders lean on this. In the long run their desire to be liked winds up costing them in the long run, and the cost can be huge.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting you lead like a tyrannical dictator, far from it. I’m simply saying that your focus needs to be on upholding the standard, rather than being liked.

I’ll give you an example. As I’ve mentioned in other posts, I was fortunate enough to be selected to serve three years as a Drill Sergeant at Ft. Benning, GA. during my career in the military. It was during that time that I learned that being RIGHT far outweighed being liked.

I’m not going to lie to you. During my first few cycles I was an absolute nightmare! I wouldn’t be able to speak at a normal tone past day two from constantly yelling. I would tailor this behavior after my second cycle as well. After that I rarely ever yelled as it’s not a good form of communication at all and loses its effectiveness very quickly, but that’s a whole other post!

The point is, by design I was not anyone that you would think, as a trainee, “Gee I like that guy!”. On face value you’d assume that they would all hate me to their dying day. But guess what. You’d be wrong. The truth is actually the exact opposite. That was 11 years ago and I’ve got some of those soldiers who remain in contact with me to this day.

How is that possible? Easy, I focused on the standards. More importantly I upheld the standards. Every time I got in front of those men, I made 100% sure that I was right, in every detail. I made sure my uniform was right, my hair was right, my conduct was right, and my message was right. I made sure that they saw the standard I was screaming about was achievable.

That philosophy didn’t end with just my appearance either. Doing weapons training? Great, let me show you how! Battle drills? Perfect, do it just like I show you! Obstacle course? No problem, just let me demonstrate first! I did ALL the things I expected of them and did them RIGHT.

By focusing on the standard, I was able to show them all that everything they were being expected to accomplish was possible. By focusing on the standard, I established myself as the end all be all subject matter expert on all things Army to them. By focusing on the standard, I earned their respect and loyalty.

I can promise you something as a leader and that is respect and loyalty that you earn by focusing on the standard is so much more powerful than being liked. It’s not fickle. It has staying power. What’s more is by earning that respect through example and demonstration, you have given those who follow you something to emulate and imitate. You have empowered them with knowledge that will last and enrich their lives.

When you put it all together and the result is a team that is loyal and respects you for your abilities and example, I can assure you, those are the best free endorphins you’ll ever get!

Also, if you were wondering, as intense as I may appear in that photo, I was actually telling him he had far more potential than he was exhibiting and to not give up. He wound up finishing the obstacle and actually thanked me afterwards for reminding him he could do it.