The importance of shared hardships: We’re all sleeping in the dirt.

Throughout my career in the military there were many times, where shard hardships were unavoidable. Times we were out on missions for 72 hours or more, everyone experiences the same levels of discomfort. It’s hot, we’re filthy, we’re hungry, we’re tired, we’re getting shot at! You know….hardships!

These times you had no choice but to endure them together and make it through, regardless of what your position or rank in the team was. We were all in it together! While wildly uncomfortable and typically very dangerous, these were the times we’d never forget. These were the times that forged everlasting bonds and loyalty to leaders and each other.

Like I said though, it was unavoidable. As a leader I had no choice but to suffer through it with my soldiers. The real test of ones leadership is would you CHOOSE to do it?

Luckily the Army gave me an amazing opportunity to answer that question for my self about a year after my second deployment.

In late 2008 I was selected to attend the United State Army Drill Sergeant School. To be selected you have to be in the top ten percent of all non commissioned officers in the Army. Upon completion you are assigned to one of the Army’ training installations and life as you know it ceases to exist!

You have no life at all! You have to be there at 4:30 AM to turn the lights on for these soldiers in training, and you are there to turn them out again at 9:00 PM, everyday, for nearly 3 months at a time, all year. This is your life now.

As a Drill Sergeant you are expected to be the epitome of excellence, and these shiny new soldiers look at you like a demi-god. In their eyes you are all powerful, all knowing, and totally beyond reproach. You could do anything and they would go right along with it. Enter the QUESTION….

During my first cycle as a Drill Sergeant, our company was conducting our first filed training event and that entailed staying out overnight in the glorious Ft. Benning woods. I was an Infantry soldier with 27 months of deployment time behind me already. I was no stranger to sleeping outside in the dirt, being eaten by bugs. No big deal.

As night fell and the training concluded we began to prepare our platoons for the rest plan. Walking them through where and how they would sleep and explaining the importance of it all as it pertained to a patrol base. During this time I noticed some of the other Drill Sergeants discussing who got the van and who got the truck. When I asked what they meant I learned that they planned to sleep inside one of our duty vehicles.

Honestly this made no sense to me. In the moment I could not even begin to math out sleeping inside anything while my soldiers slept on the ground. I didn’t make a big deal out of it. I calmly walked away and went back to my platoon, not saying a word to the others who planned on sleeping inside.

I brought my platoon in and asked them what they would think if I did that. They all unanimously said it made sense , because I had earned it. As flattering as that may seem, my head almost exploded! Earned it? No I hadn’t! No one has!

No one has earned the right to put their people in uncomfortable situations, and choose comfort for themselves. Not in the US Army and not corporate in America.

I chose to sleep in the dirt with my Soldiers, that night, and every night after that. How as a leader do I expect anyone to do anything that I am not willing to do myself? What’s more is I would have squandered the opportunity to share that hardship with them, and robbed myself of the subsequent loyalty that comes from it. I assure you that I had soldiers graduate from my platoon’s who would have jumped over shark tanks, through hoops of fire for me if I had asked. And yes the sharks would have had freaking laser beams!

There is so much to be gained from sharing hardships and remaining connected as a leader. As I’ve said it results in loyalty to you as a leader, because you showed them loyalty. It also gives you a fresh dose of empathy, and that is invaluable to any leader that wants to truly have an impact! Empathy gives you clarity on the why’s for those you lead, which leads to better results for everyone.

I challenge you to sleep in the metaphorical dirt with your people every chance you get. They may never mention the ones in the van, but they will notice. I can promise you though, they will never forget the leader who slept with them in the dirt!