Guess what! Not everyone likes you, and that’s OK!
Cheery title right? I know, I know, please save your applause until the end of the blog! But this is serious and something that, if I am being honest, drives me absolutely crazy! People’s necessity to be “liked” is so strange and can have serious negative effects on their mental well being and productivity, if they let it.
Check it out, there are 7.8 BILLION people on the planet right now. There’s even more than that by the time you read this. By 2050 the projection is 9.9 billion people. You’ll never guess what. Not all of them are going to like you!
This seems to have come up over and over again in my world recently. Everyone from clients, to colleagues, even long time friends. People are stressing out over if someone likes them or not. Let me be clear here, I am not talking about their friends, co-workers, family, boss, literally no one directly connected to their lives. These fine folks are all keyed up over STRANGERS not liking them! Huh? Wait…seriously?
Here’s the deal, and I’m going to be super candid, who cares? Seriously what possible difference does it really make?
As I mentioned this came up several times recently with people I actually know. As such I’ve got at least 5 very recent examples I could use. I am choosing the one that in my opinion seems the most common and also in some regards the most nonsensical. What am I talking about? Social media!
I was recently having a conversation with someone who I have known most of my life. This person is just about a year older than myself, married, kids, and very successful. We were reminiscing about our childhood and a name of someone we used to know came up in conversation. Having not spoken to the person in over 20 years I kind of glossed over it and moved on with the conversation. My long time friend however was actually bothered by the fact that this individual that had not been an active part of our lives for over 2 decades didn’t accept their “friend request”.
Hold on! What? Really? Like…REALLY? My response was and will always be “Dude WHO CARES?!”.
This sort of thing is rampant in the world of social media and in the business world. Everyone is so concerned about being liked by EVERYONE. When the reality is that is never going to happen. The results of this type of thinking are not good.
The first thing that creeps in is the dreaded comparison. My pal Theadore Roosevelt said it best, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” That is so true! The next thing you know you are trying to jive up who you are off of those people that this individual “likes”. Here comes the thoughts and feelings of inadequacy and negative self talk, and for what? This is the quickest way to rob yourself of the best attribute you have, and that is being YOU!
I’m a pretty pragmatic person. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that not everyone on the planet is going to like me. You know what? I am SO ok with that. I am good at a lot of things but being genuinely me is my favorite. I’m super good at being me! That’s the only person I want to be and there are people that will like that.
The truth is YOU are good enough and the REAL people in your life already like you. Don’t waste your time pandering to an individual, audience, or even a company that doesn’t like you for you. At the end of the day none of you will be happy in the end. You’ll be miserable because you are faking the funk just to be liked and never getting to be who you are.
Bottom line, be YOU! Not everyone is going to like you and that is perfectly fine. When they don’t just say “cool story bro” and move on. Don’t let people who ultimately aren’t going to be a friend to your destiny rent out space in your head!
