FEAR: Is it really a fear of failure, or a fear of success?

Fear! Oh boy! This is the most primitive of all human emotions. It sets off an immediate universal biochemical response that not only determines much of what we do next physically, but emotionally as well. We’re talking cave man DNA stuff here! This is the thing that kept us from being eaten by Sabre tooth tigers or having limbs removed by Gigantopithecus! As such, it’s not always a bad thing. A lot of the time fear is the thing that keeps us alive, but what about those times that it actually robs you of living life to the fullest?

So many times in life people fail to take action on something they REALLY want out of fear. The vast majority of the time when asked why they don’t just go for it the answer is something like “I’m afraid I’ll fail”. While I don’t disagree that a lot of the time that is part of the fear, I have found working with clients that many times it’s actually a fear of success.

Wait….what? I know what you’re thinking (in my best Magnum PI voice) Fear of success? That doesn’t make any sense! Well you’re right, it doesn’t. No one ever said that fear was a rational emotion. So, what am I talking about? Well, being candid, if there’s never any real success then there’s no expectation for continued success.

Let’s look at an example using music. If you are a music fan you know just how critical that sophomore album is. It’s when that band proves to the world that it wasn’t a fluke. That they are talented and have more amazing content to put out. That’s a ton of pressure to be under. Everyone that listened to the first album, that made you an overnight success is anxiously awaiting that follow on work to see what you’re really made of. Are there people waiting in the wings to point and laugh if you fall short? ABSOLUTELY! It’s all eyes on you to see if you’re the real deal! If you fail here at best you’ll be forgotten. At worst you’ll be the new running joke for the next several months as the most recent one hit wonder. If you listened to the radio in the mid to late 90’s you know exactly what I’m talking about.

That sounds pretty scary right? That’s the fear we are talking about. That fear of success that is accompanied by this new level of expectation to do it again, and even better this time. I can tell you as a music fan; the ones who are able to make it past the second album and beyond, the ones who turn that one hit into a decades long career of making life changing music, are the ones who don’t succumb to that fear. They stay the course and most importantly stay true to what and who they are. If they bend to pressure and try and totally reinvent themselves they could totally alienate their core fan base. Seriously, do you think Stevie Nicks sat around worried about critics? She made her ex play guitar, while she sang about their break up!

They keep their WHY in the forefront of their mind through all of it. That why I can assure you is far more powerful than fear. Think about it. What’s your why? Is it your family? Your significant other? Is it doing what you can to being some light into the world and make it a better place? Maybe it’s all of those things. Cling to that why. That why is everything when that fear starts to creep back in. It will trump any bad review, loss of followers on social media, low engagement, or the ever present noisy critic.

So, if you are finding yourself frozen on the verge of finally going after that thing out of fear then I challenge you to do a couple things. First ask yourself what kind of fear is this really. Is it really a fear of “failure” or is it actually a fear of success. Then seriously contemplate your WHY and use that to galvanize your resolve. Remember that why is way more powerful than any of that fear holding you back, particularly that fear of success! Bottom line? You can do it, and you probably should!